Uncontrollably Fond
by lovemeorhateme22
Summary: Bella receives an invitation to Alice's wedding, she wants to go but it has been 10 years since she been to Forks. A troubled past with her best friend Edward and herself, but this time even when her life get's a bit difficult will she not run again? and will Edward cope with young actress Bella and his anger for her leaving? A fluffy romance fic with passion and hint of drama. AH
1. Back in Time - 1

Hello,

I'm a person, just like you, so please consider the fact that my writing may be not your taste and that's just fine with me, it means that you know what you like, what I do hope is that you will like my story - maybe not my writing but the chemistry of Bella and Edward, the portray of them and the sweet love and nitty comments, Chapter 1 is sort of a prologue to let you in on the story, I have chapter 2 waiting but I want to know if a story like this is appreciated, it's not a long story, but still a developing story of sweet romance and some over winning drama. So like I said, I hope you like my story and beta's reading this I could use some help with my grammar and/or English, I'm from The Netherlands so don't expect it to be perfect.

Have fun & please let me know what you thought for my inspiration :)

 **DISCLAIMER** : Twilight is owned by Stephanie Mayer, I simply twisted my own story of it.

* * *

 **Chapter 1**

The last time I walked through this door it felt like I was being drawn in. Edward always knew how to cope with my moments of attention or my passive feelings of desperation for him, those moments were when I hated myself the most, for letting Renee touch me again, for my dad not standing up for me, for my self-control to not slap her back. I hated everything about younger me, she was a weak creature always looking for comfort from Edward.

I would sneak up to his room and crawl under his blankets, taking in his scent whenever I felt like my life was stuck once again. I would crawl against his warm body and lay my head on his muscular chest; he would just raise his arm and wrap it around me. Sometimes I stayed there for days, curled up against his bare chest, gripping tightly on him, crying myself to sleep after I was hit again. He would sooth my skin with a cold towel, my skin would burn and I would hitch back a tear.

My father was the only thing that kept me from leaving the house, even though he could barely speak or walk, he would still smile at me and sometimes I could even see a hint of regret. The corner of his lips would raise but quickly faint again, he was holding back ever since Renee first hit me, he changed from day to night; my tears would not seem to show him my pain, at first I thought that until I saw his eyes flinch, he even tried to open his mouth from time to time but no words came out. Edward told me that it was just shock and that some people had a weird way of dealing with certain situations, I never blamed my father for what happened to me, but I do blame him for the neglect he left me in.

The reflection of my sleepless face stared back at me from the wooden door glass, dark circles were almost creeping on to my cheek, my chocolate eyes were red like I was on drugs and my brown hair was messy and greasy, days like this I always liked to stay in bed, curl up to my favorite movie and reflect on my past, I thought a lot about my past, about the decisions I made from leaving Forks to beginning my career in New York. My life has changed so much that it actually scared me. If you would have told me that I would become an actress at twenty-six, been almost married twice and earn thousands of dollars for a simple movie I would have told that person to have his vitals checked out. Me? The most stubborn person you could be and besides I had a tendency to trip over grass haulm.

I always wondered what it will be like to come back to him after so many years. Alice had called me occasionally to remember me that I had a life once, right beside her, or even more important, right beside him. Most of the time when I thought about the past I thought about my feelings for Edward, for how long I've denied those feelings and pushed them into an empty place in my heart. I don't even recall meeting Edward, we were three years old when we met and, like Esme called it, connected. We were like twins from the beginning inseparable, I saw him like my older brother at first but at the age of fourteen I didn't understand that uneasy feeling in my stomach, apparently they were so called butterflies. Every time Edward reached out to me or gave me somewhat of a look I would feel them, flying around like a spreading curse.

My life has changed so much; I went from being the crying-to-sleep girl next door to the starting actress in the city of New York. I gave up my life in Forks, I gave up everything I had for a chance to be happy even though I'm still trying to figure out what happiness means to me. Sure I was living in a big house, I drove a nice car and I had dated male models but that doesn't mean that my life is perfect. Even when shooting they have to brush up on my scars so my look to the outside world doesn't affect my image as an actress, or as my manager says; 'an example for starting actresses out there', whatever that means.

The wind played with my hair and I sighed, tossed my bag over my shoulder, taking in a big gulp of air to prepare myself for the things that were about to happen. Would he be happy to see me? That was the only thing I wondered since I left my condo in New York this morning. I placed my hand gently on the doorbell hoping my heart would say to turn around and leave but on the other hand why would I run from the past when I did nothing wrong.

My mind drifted back to the last day I saw Edward.

Spring – 10 years ago.

"Bella, you have to wake up, we have to go to school".

I tossed and turned the whole night and when I was finally able to sleep there was Edward, tickling my ear with his low whispers.

My fifteen year old self was a stubborn person to wake up and without further attempt I felt the mattress rising when his warmth left next to me.

I opened my eyes slowly and let myself get used to sun beams streaming through his golden curtains. As I pulled myself up and rested on one arm I let my eyes roam over Edward's bare chest. As always his perfections made my jaw drop and he never once felt embarrassed about it, why would he anyway, the guy is a god.

His pants hung loosely around his hips and as he pulled his white t-shirt over his head I saw his arm muscles flex. Girls went crazy over him at school; even some girls that I hang out with tried to get his number through me. I tried to set up Edward multiple times with some of my friends, like Tanya, she had a crush on him forever, but he always declined politely saying he wasn't interested in any of these girls.

Somehow my heart fluttered at the thought that he would spend all his time with me instead of dating one of the hottest girls in school. I knew I was a troublemaker for him, he met my mother on occasion and she would always speech him about the values of life and how I should not be wasting my life with a newbie photographer.

I rose out of his bed as he walked to the bathroom. I slipped out of my PJ's and grabbed my black pants and checkered shirt. My red Dr. Martens boots slipped over my black socks and I traced Edward to the bathroom.

As he was brushing his teeth he watched me every move, I felt his eyes tracing me down every action I took. There we were, like a married couple, I was combing my hair and he was brushing his teeth smiling at me.

His green eyes darted from the mirror, to me and back. Those sapphire eyes were mesmerizing and sometimes when I was deep asleep I felt them on my body, still taking me in like he was watching me at night.

This is our life, normal people would have a daily routine, but the only normal thing I had was running away from home, into Edward's arms. Just being there made me feel save and even though I would never fight my mom back it still felt like a victory to me every time I left the house and she was yelling after me.

Sentences like: 'You're going to him again?' or 'That boy is no good for you' stung more than my red cheek, or my bloody scratches, who was she to judge over Edward? He was the only one comforting me when times got rough.

"Bella" I met Edward's eyes and moaned an 'hmm' at him.

"We're going to be late" I searched for the time and when I saw it was bit over eighth I dropped my brush and grabbed my coat from the door hanger.

"Well then we better get going". His lip smirked up at the corner and he grabbed my hand as he pulled me outside into his shiny Volvo. Another not so bad perks about Edward; he has a wealthy family, so I didn't feel like an obstacle financially.

The day went by pretty quick, at four P.M. I still had two classes left but had fifteen minutes to spare between them, even though Edward and I didn't share any classes together he was always waiting for me at our spot when we knew we had a few minutes to spare, that's the benefit of comparing each other's schedules.

I walked through the big white halls and saw Edward leaning against the wall, as I got closer I saw him talking to someone in the door frame on the other side. A blonde with long legs was standing there, Edward was laughing at something and when she giggled along she gently placed her hand on his arm.

Warm feeling spread through me and I was telling myself that I was not jealous nor angry, but as my cheeks warmed and my feet were stuck to the ground I watched the interaction between them.

When the girl took a step forward I noticed it was Tanya, one of Alice's friends and a girl I talked to in class now and then. She was considered 'popular' and dated multiple guys from school, rumors were that she even cheated on some of them. She was desperately flirting with him, and for once Edward was actually letting her. Not once I caught him flirting with a girl, this was the first time and also the first time I felt threatened.

I watched at the play before me, Edward leaned against the walls with one hand and took a step closer to her, his hand was resting against the wall beside her head and when she tip toed and curled her lips to his he replied with kissing her.

My breath got stuck at my throat and I produced I sound of shock that I never heard before.

The two heads in front of me turned and I saw Edward's eyes flicker with mixed emotions.

The glue that stuck to my feet was gone and I instantly ran out of the school building I gloomed around the parking lot and ran towards the big trees and high grass. The woods were misty and kind of cold for spring season, my head was pouncing and tears were dried up on my cheeks. I've been walking for what seemed like hours and I didn't even recognize this part of the woods.

Clearly I was lost, as well in the woods as with my feelings. Yes I was jealous of Tanya and somehow angry at Edward, for the first time in my life I realized what Edward meant to me, he was more than just my safe haven.

Then I realized I was standing in the way of Edward's future, I've been nothing more than an obstacle in his life, a person that was damaged and I used him to feel comfortable, I used him…

I had to leave and give him a chance of a normal life.


	2. Back in Time - 2

Hello again, lot of positive income from chapter 1, thank you very much for your reviews, I hope this chapter is worth more of your reviews; for all you followers, favers and reviews; a big, huge, THANK YOU. Anybody interested in helping me out with grammar and or ideas? Send me a pm please :)

* * *

 **Chapter 2**

Alice's arms embraced me tightly as she opened the door, she was just like I remembered her, small and perky, her hair was cut shorter than when we were in high school and her fashion sense was just the same.

"You look so lovely Bella, better than on the television". I blushed at her words and bit my lip, I couldn't get used to these compliments. My personal life had been exposed to the media multiple times, I've been stalked, been accused of cheating on my previous boyfriend Graham, been two-timed myself, the only thing they didn't know of was my past, because let's be honest, I'll only get pity votes out of it but secretly nobody cares about my scars, but here, the Cullens, they knew my past so trying to be different was useless.

"It's great to see you Alice". It is great to see her, I've been telling myself to just call and pretend to be sick to actually get out of coming to Forks but I had been missing Alice and her family.

I walked inside the house and noticed the big corridor had a new tint of paint, it used to be pale grey before but it was now spread with a light wooden color which made the house warmer, black and white frames crossed the hall and I noticed they were Edward's work, photo's of the family but also photos of landscapes and different cultures and countries.

"So you ready to be a bridesmaid?" My eyes shot to Alice and I noticed her smirk on her lips.

"Bridesmaid, Alice? I thought I was just here as a guest, is this why you had me coming here two days before the wedding?" Alice nodded and grabbed my hand dragging me into the living room.

I met the eyes of Esme Cullen, Alice's adoption mother; she was a beautiful woman with dark brown wavy hair and porcelain skin. "Bella" her soft voice gave me slight shivers, "It's so good to see you Bella" her hand grabbed mine and she gave me two kisses on my cheeks. I squeezed her hand gently, remembering the warmth of her hands always had given when she used to grab mine.

"Glad to be here" I replied gently. "It's been so long" I whispered looking around the small changes that been applied to the house. More photo frames were set up, Alice and her fiancé Jasper, whom I still had to meet but seen pictures of through email, Emmett with a long haired female who probably was his wife Rosalie that Alice wrote about and there was Edward, with his father fishing, in another frame. I tried not to stare at the picture as I remember his features all too well. My body moved towards the picture and without hesitation I picked up the frame and looked at it. My finger traced over Edward and I realized that I must have looked stupid to Alice and Esme; I quickly placed the frame down and gave them a smile.

"Can I place my suitcase somewhere?" Alice nodded "we have set up the guest room for you" Alice walked me down the corridor upstairs into one of the bedrooms, they were similar like Edward's room when he was younger, a light tint of lavender on the walls and white wooden furniture.

"Oh nice" I said when I sat down on the bed and bounced up and down with a smirk.

"I'll leave you to get ready, we will eat dinner in a few minutes, my parents would like you to join" I nodded and smiled "of course, and I'll be there in ten".

Alice smiled and walked to the door. "Alice" she turned on her heels and stared at me.

"When is Edward coming?" her eyebrows rose to her hairline and she smiled at me. "I think he will not be here until tomorrow, why?"

I nodded and smiled "just because…" It seemed like Alice was waiting for an explanation so I quickly turned the subject "thank you Alice, for the invitation and the bridesmaid thing, I know I didn't seem to be excited about it but I want you to know I am".

Alice nodded "I know Bella, don't worry", she walked off outside the door leaving me alone in the room.

"Fuck, why am I here?" I whispered to myself as I fell down against the mattress. Edward would be here tomorrow; do I even want to see him?

I grabbed my phone out of my pocket and looked at the three missed calls, one from my manager and two from Graham; I pressed the call button and heard the Samsung ring. "Hello?" he answered, why?

"Graham, it's me". I didn't want to use more words to get this over with, after all he should be done with me by now, I tried to explain myself a few times about the mishap of the two-timing in the media but he didn't let me explain for three months, after that I gave up, I was his fiancée and I went to his company to return the ring, that same evening he called to tell me how good I looked and how much he missed me, I told him that I tried to explain but that it's over now , it couldn't work anymore, since that day, which has been over three weeks ago, he'd been calling nearly everyday for a chance to meet up.

"Bella baby, I called you twice, are you on set?" I rolled my eyes at his words, he loved my fame, I mean he was a wealthy man, owning a designer company with his sister as co-owner but he never got that much media attention then when he was with me.

"No I'm in my home town Forks for a couple of days, so maybe it's better if-"

"Forks? Why?" He cut me off, of course he wanted to know why, and I could practically feel him looking through my window every night as he stalked me daily according to my manager.

"Look Graham, I told you that I need time to think about the situation okay? Plus I need to advice my PI to discuss the issue, my bad behavior, according to the media, is still affecting my career now". I stared at the ceiling hoping he would get the hint.

"Bella, starting over is just the thing to do to recover from that bad reputation" Graham sighed and I imagined him frowning and rubbing the skin between his eyebrows. He was right even though I didn't want to admit it, I just lost all my confidence in relationships when the media broke this one down so easily. And I had to admit, the past with Edward and all didn't quite help to sooth my insecurence about myself.

"Graham, I have to go, like I said I'll think about it, just give me some time"

"Jees Bella, how much time do you need?" the irritation in his voice was obvious, I shouldn't let him in the dark like this but I just wasn't sure about my feelings, I care deeply for Graham but I just don't know if it's deep enough.

"I'm sorry" I clicked the call away with my last words and rose from the bed, my orange suitcase was stuffed with clothing, comfy shoes and beauty products from sponsors. I opened the bag got out a green lace dress and some plain black ballerina's and changed my outfit.

When I got downstairs I was welcomed by Emmett's huge biceps circling around my tiny waist and lifting me in the air. I giggled as a schoolgirl as my feet hung in the air. "Bells I missed you" I grinned at him as he grinned at me, he was always such a happy person, he could always make me smile. "I missed you too Emmett, now please put me down", he let me fall to the ground and I stumbled a bit almost falling on my face.

"Well that certainly didn't change" I met the grin of Carlisle, their adoption father. "Dr. Cullen, hi!" I walked towards him and also gave him a hug. "Bella" Carlisle and I didn't exchange much words, we didn't do that in the past either, he was always a quiet but polite man, and I knew if I ever faced problems that he was more than happy to have me over, the bond between him and me was more than just the father of Edward or Alice, it was filled with respect from my side. He grabbed my shoulders and took a glance at me.

"You lost some weight" I nodded slowly, I knew he didn't like that, back in the day when I lost weight it was clear that there was more going on than just eating badly. "Be careful" I blushed and smiled at him, his intentions were good.

We turned to the table and a dinner of Spaghetti Bolognese was waiting for me. "Italiano, you're favorite", I turned to Esmé and smiled at her. "You remembered" she nodded and returned my smile. Of course she remembered I always asked for italian food if they gave me the choice for dinner.

"Bella dear how's Graham?" what didn't these people follow the tabloids? "He's uhm, fine, I guess, we split up 3 months ago".

Esme's eyes narrowed and she looked concerned and full with questions but she didn't ask anything. After a few minutes of silence and cutlery clinking I decided to answer her questions anyway.

"Some paparazzi said I was seeing another guy named James whom I was working with at that time, so Graham broke up with me thinking I was cheating on him". I turned my face towards my plate not wanting to share the looks of concern around the table the only concern I had was this awkward dinner. Back in the day it used to be full of laughter and talking but it seemed like I wasn't the only one that changed over the past ten years.

I was surprised by the fact that they didn't question me about leaving that day ten years ago, after all I didn't speak to them for ten years except for Alice, but that was only because Alice completely knew the story and situation even though she didn't actually understand my decision I made that day but she did support me. The only thing I never told her were my feelings for Edward. Those feelings that I suppressed for many years and shared with no one…

"Well than he's no good for you anyway if he can believe the press so easily". I nodded simply agreeing with her answer. "He's a dick anyway, he went with that Tanya girl like only 2 weeks after that". I looked up to Alice who winked at me. "Alice! Language!" her mother warned her pointing her fork at Alice.

"Actually that was the exact same situation, Tanya was only a model and friend of Graham's sister Bree, there was nothing going on between them, but yeah that's the negative press, anything to try to get a reaction out of you". I spinned the Spaghetti around my fork and smiled at Alice.

"How awful" my glance directed to Carlisle who now spoke up for the first time. "just kick their ass Bella, I know you can, I've seen you kick Edward's ass". Everybody looked to Emmett and he raised a brow. "what?"

Esme's look on her face could have written book chapters, not only she was warning Emmett she was also looking apologetic towards me. Did they agree not talking about Edward in front of me? Or was it for Edward's sake?

Carlisle shook his head and clicked with his tongue. "Well Edward had a pudding ass anyway" I mumbled while chewing on my food.

I looked up to the Cullens and noticed the smiles that spread across the face, and within a few seconds we were all laughing out loud. After one minute of laughter tears were rolling over my cheek and my stomach was aching.

"What's so funny?" My head turned to the familiar silk voice in the hallway and my eyes met the emerald jade's of Edward's, his sleek bronze hair was shining in the jolt of the dim sunlight that cross the room and his muscular posture was covered in a blue suit and white blouse.

"Edward" Alice squeaked as she stood up and turned him into a hug, the Cullens rose from their chair one by one to greet their last member of the family and when I stood up, with heavy knees and sweating hands I almost fell down over the carpet and fell right into his arms.

"Bella" a grin spread across his handsome face and my teenage years spread across my mind, his body encircled around mine, his lips pressed to my temple as he tried to sooth my tears, my cold hands blown warm by his desire able mouth. Oh God, I've been in love with Edward Cullen my entire life, and it took me ten years to realise it.

"Edward" I returned his bright grin with an awkward smile. "You always knew how to find a way into my arms". I gulped the saliva back that was stuck in my throat. These two days were going to be so long...


	3. Confusion

**Chapter 3 Confusion**

"Thank you for catching me" I wiggled myself out of his strong arms and got back on my own two feet. He nodded and turned to his parents greeting them again and giving them something which didn't catch my eye.

Of course he had to come in a day sooner, just my luck. I sat down back in my seat like the rest did and watched Edward, his face got a little rougher over the years and dark circles were set under his mesmerizing eyes.

"So how have you been Edward, how was New York?" New York? My stomach twisted, he's been in New York all this time?

"I heard you got to meet a lot of celebs, any hot chicks brother?" Alice rolled her eyes at Emmett's words and grabbed Edward's hand who sat down next to her, across from me.

"Yeah a few, some of these celeb woman are really crazy though". I saw Edward's gaze turning to me and I tried to ignore his words and look, which were obviously directed towards me. Something about his attitude seemed hostile, but the Edward I knew would never do that, would he?

"Anyway when I get back I get to work on this movie called 'Twilight' I heard they have a big cast" my eyes darted to Edward and while he was not looking at me I knew he knew exactly what my shock was about. I got the call about three days ago for the main character part for that same movie.

"Sounds awesome man" Emmett's words made me shiver, it's not awesome it's a disaster, how could I work with Edward, how could I possible survive these two days at all. I stared at my hands under the table, I was squeezing them so tight they turned all pale white.

"Bella" how could Edward take these things so light, he knew I'd be there, they always discus the cast before hand so they know who to work with, of course they have to sign a confidentiality agreement but still he knew I was going to work on this film, he knew as a main character I was going to be in every photo shoot.

"Bella" I looked up and met the eyes of everyone around the table. "Ye-Yes" I stuttered.

"What's your next project you're working on?" I looked at Esme and peaked at Edward in front of me, he was grinning at his plate pricking his Spaghetti as Esme got him a plate too.

"I'm not really allowed to talk about it yet, sorry". Edward looked up to me and his eyes pierced in mine. I could tell what he was thinking, he was teasing me hoping I would take the bait.

"Well we won't tell anyone Bella" he simply said, his grin still locked in place, he was being so smug. "Well I just got the main part of the movie Edward is going to work on actually" I didn't show any emotion and stared back at Edward taking in his challenge.

"You two are going to work together?" Emmett's words hung in the air and for a moment I regretted telling them. Edward's grin dropped and his attention turned back to his food, I kind of wondered what was going through his mind right now.

"What is the movie about Bella?" I turned my look to Alice and smiled at her, "It's about a human girl falling in love with a vampire boy".

Edward scoffed and everybody looked at him. His gaze turned up towards mine and I saw a hint of, hurt? "Like you know how to play that part" my eyebrows rose and I frowned deeply.

"Excuse me? What's that supposed to mean?" I felt anger and I'm sure it was readable on my face, why was he being such an asshole?

He started to laugh and rose from the table, placing his hands on it and bowing down to me, "Like you know how to play a part which inquires you to fall in love, let's be honest Bella, you wouldn't recognise love even if it would slap you in the face".

He stood up, straightening his blazer and left the room, with his words still hanging in the air. I gasped for air as I was holding it from the moment he bowed towards me, his scent was stuck in my throat and his words stuck in my head.

"That son of a - " I looked around the table and saw the concerned eyes of the Cullens. "excuse me", I hurried out of the room and traced up the stairs looking at my bedroom door. The door after that was slightly open and I knew exactly what room that was. Mustering up my courage I dragged my feet towards his room.

I opened the door and met his eyes and his bare upper body. "I-" my face became red and I turned around quickly. I let out a sigh and tried to get back that courages feeling I had a moment ago. "why are you being so terrible to me?" there, I said it.

I heard a snort behind me and footsteps getting closer, he turned me around to face him, I tried to look away from his eyes but looking at his bare chest didn't make it much better, so I just stared at my feet.

"I'm terrible to you? For God sake Bella, you're so stupid you know that" he walked to his closet and disappeared from sight. "I'm stupid? What's with that attitude Edward, that's not the Edward I knew ten years ago".

There was a moment of silence and I wondered if he even heard me. After a few seconds when I was about to leave he came out, wearing a grey shirt, and his face wearing anger, his eyes were darker than normal and for a moment I wanted to run away, like I did ten years ago.

"You're fuckking kidding me right?" My eyebrow darted up and I bit my lip. "You want to talk about that? Sure Bella I'll play your little game, you left me remember?" He came closer to me and closed the distance between me and him, I was now pressed against the wall of his bedroom.

"You left me, without one single word, you played me, and I have an attitude? So what you're a big shot actress now and live in a big house? You know who got you there? Me!" I opened my mouth to protest but I didn't even know what to say.

He looked at me and my body heated up, I've never seen this Edward before. "that's what I thought, now would you leave me alone? Unless you want to sleep in my bed again, or you only sleep in bed of those models?" his cockiness was going too far, he had no reason to treat me like this, of course I get he's a bit angry, but this was going too far.

"Like you sleep with everyone? I saw the tabloids Edward, you're a womaniser". He scoffed and then laughed bowing back from me, creating more space between us.

"At least I don't have to sleep with someone to make me feel better about my past" anger burned up inside of me and before I knew it my hand spread across his cheek and I ran out, tears slowly forming in my eyes.

When I reached my bedroom I shut my door and leaned against it, quietly sobbing into the palms of my hands. I thought that Edward would have forgiven me by now, clearly he still holds a grudge since the day I left. I tried to convince myself so many times that I did nothing wrong, that I did everything for his sake, who would want a damaged girl hanging around their neck anyway. Plus we both have build a life, both filled with glamour and parties and the pictures at the tabloids proved Edward was a fan of it every day.

The worst case was Tanya, not only had she crushed me in high school but apparently she could do the same even ten years later, when she appeared with Edward at the Emmy's, the same Emmy's I attended with a co-star when they thought I was cheating on Graham. Graham knew how much I hated Tanya, not for the real reason though. After we split up he got with Tanya to try to make me jealous but Graham told me and to be honest I couldn't care less at that moment, the only reason I hated Tanya so badly was because of Edward. Graham told me she was too hung up on some high school crush and that she didn't want to go out with him because of that, I understood Graham's anger with me, must have been the same anger I faced ten years ago, that's why I forgave him, after all I did love Graham at some point.

"Bella?" I heard a soft knock on the other side of the door, I wiped my cheeks, fixed my hair a bit and put on a smile. I opened the door to Alice and she looked concerned.

"Are you okay?" I kept my smile in place as I nodded. "Are you sure? Edward was pretty harsh on you". Well that's an understatement.

"I'm fine Alice don't worry, I think I'll go to bed early if you don't mind" she nodded and left the room. I sat on the bed and replayed the whole day in my head, it was only nine PM and I was so tired. I stripped off my clothes and changed into a black lace gown to sleep in. As I crawled under the blankets and smelled the lavender sheets I felt my head getting heavy, great a headache too…

I woke up around three AM, my mouth was dry and luckily the headache was gone. I rose out of bed and chills spread over my body, I instantly regretted getting out of the warm bed.

I tiptoe towards the door and opened it, glancing around each corner to check if there was nobody there, no lights were on except from a dim light downstairs, the Cullens always let a light on because Edward was a light sleeper and occasionally got out of bed, funny that such a habit was still there after ten years.

I walked downstairs the wooden stairs and turned the corner into the kitchen. The huge kitchen was filled with a little light, enough to see where I was going. I reached to the upper cupboard and got out a glass to fill it with water. I leaned against the counter and took a big gulp. My dry mouth was pleasured with the cold water, it even tasted better than in New York.

I closed my eyes and enjoyed the silence, I loved being on my own, it had served me well over the past years. "Well that's a sight" I jumped and opened my eyes to find Edward leaning on the other side of the island counter. My heart was racing as he scared me. "God Edward you scared the crap out of me!" I tried to say in hard whispers.

His eyes traced over my body from my boobs to my legs and I felt kind of exposed, even though Edward have seen me in less. "Can I help you Edward?" his eyes shot back to mine and he grinned. "Well I don't know Bella, can you?" what was with this attitude? He has been shouting at me a few hours ago.

I turned around to the sink and placed my glass in it, filling it again with a bit more water. I nearly jumped again as I felt Edward standing behind me, I felt his warmth and I could smell his scent, I was afraid to turn around and meet him so close.

His hand touched my shoulder and rose towards my neck line, lifting my hair from my neck and placing every single hair over my other shoulder. My neck was exposed to him now and before I knew it I felt his mouth trace my neck line. I closed my eyes to the sensation. His lips were soft and smooth as he gently pressed them against my skin. I had goosebumps all over my body and I let out a deep sigh. Why was I enjoying this so much? And a more important question why was he doing this?

I opened my eyes and turned quickly, he took a step back and looked at me intensely, in the dim light he was just a perfect silhouette. A grin formed on his lips again and as I opened my mouth to say something he spoke before me. "I've been wanting to do that since that day at the Emmy's"

My eyebrows rose and I remembered that day, I was wearing a tight, long black dress and he was sitting on the other side of the audience, wearing a black tux, as I was rewarded with an Emmy and got on stage I met his eyes, words were stuck in my throat and I simply thanked everyone who supported me and left the stage, not seeing him another time that day.

"What is this Edward, one minute you're shouting at me, being a jerk and trying to hurt my feelings and the next-" I lowered my voice remembering that we weren't alone in the house, "you're kissing me".

"Oh please look at you, it's not like you didn't enjoy it, you played with me Bella, I think it's my turn to play with you". He walked off with a smug smile on his face and I could hear his footsteps tracing up the staircase. I buried my face in my hands and felt the warmth of my cheeks, I must have looked flustered, so this was the situation I was in, he was going to treat me different every time, I tried to unravel his words to myself in my head but it didn't make sense, I didn't play with him like this, so what was he talking about? I sighed and dragged my feet to the staircase trying to go and get some sleep again.

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